He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”

His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”

Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

One day, as he came home from school, he went in front of his mother and told her:

-Mommy, mommy! I know EVERYTHING!!

His mom, obviously scared to death:

-Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your father about it, okay?

-Okay mommy! says Billy and leaves the room with a big smile on his face.

When his dad came from work, he did the same to him as well:

-Daddy, daddy! I found out EVERYTHING!!

Numb, his father puts his hand on his pocket:

-Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your mother, okay?

-Okay!! says Billy with a bigger smile on his face.

The next morning, on his way to school, he sees the Postman. He thought he could try it to him too:

-Mr. Focker, I know EVERYTHING!!

The Postman, the minute he heard it, fell on his knees and wide opened his arms:

-Then, come..Come closer..My son!!!

However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”

Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

-Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?

-My goldfish died, and I have to bury it.

-Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?

-Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!!

The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him.

The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid;

-Is this really your grandmother?

-Yes. She visits every Christmas!

-Very good! And when she stays at the rest of the year? the driver insists.

-At the airport!, says the kid and continues; Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..

-Daddy!

-What’s the matter kid? worries the father.

-I’m thirsty, can you bring me a glass of water please?

-You could drink a glass of water before you go for sleep. says strictly the father and falls into bed again.

Five minutes later.

-Daddy, Daddy!

-What is it this time?

-I’m very thirsty, can I have a glass of water?

-I told you before! If you ever ask me again, you’re going to be grounded!

Five more minutes later.

-Daddy..

-WHAT??

-Hmm.. On your way back to punish me, can you bring me a glass of water?

The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.

Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, “Well, son, we are making you a little brother.”

The little boy replied ,”Please turn Mom over, Dad, I’d rather have a puppy!”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”